BEING A PLEASER

Friday, March 20, 2009

"We are raised from the time we are little girls with the unspoken admonition to be pleasing. As girls, when we are pretty, charming, thoughtful, agreeable, well-dressed, well-mannered, and soft-spoken, we are admired and praised. I'm not saying that those attributes aren't attractive. But I am saying that when we act in a way that goes against those attributes, when we are not pretty (and life can require hard work and hard times that leave no room for primping), when we speak our minds yet what we have to say isn't particularly docile or kind (however necessary), or when we have to take care of ourselves first (in order that we may have something to give), we are going against the grain."

" Being pleasing is sometimes necessary, as part of a reciprocal relationship or to maintain good employment. But having moments of being pleasing is very different from warping into a pleaser personality. A pleaser daughter is one who, at any age, is still trying to please her parents. A pleaser friend is one who can't say no. A pleaser employee is similar to a pleaser friend. A pleaser wife is one who somehow loses herself in the journey from courtship through commitment. A pleaser mom is one who fears the loss of love from her children. The common thread of all pleasers is fear. "

"Being a pleaser is only good and useful in one aspect, and that is the desire to please God above all else."

(Thoughts from Kristin Armstrong's Work In Progress--An Unfinished Woman's Guide To Grace)

4 comments:

SmilingSally said...

I was nodding my head the first time I read this.

bp said...

This is SO true.

Happy spring, have a good weekend.

Ruthie said...

Being pleasing to God is the greatest desire of all of us.
Have a good week.
(I posted early for Spiritual Sunday this week.)

Kelly said...

This is absolutely right. I tried for a long time, even in my early married years, to please my parents, especially my father, trying to earn acceptance. As I became a Christian and grew closer to God over the years, I have learned that it is not important to please people, but to please God.

On Sunday, our pastor spoke a little bit about this, and he recommended a book entitled "When People are Big and God is Small".