Friday, October 30, 2009
(John Ortberg is one of my favorite writers. The following is from his book, Love Beyond Reason)
The work of love is the work of paying attention. Love notices. Love listens. Love remembers. When is her birthday? What kind of coffee does he like? What is his favorite movie? Love is in the details. Deborah Tanner writes a wonderful story about a rag doll:
My great-aunt, for many years a widow, had a love affair when she was in her seventies. Obese, balding, her hands and legs misshapen by arthritis, she did not fit the stereotype of a woman romantically loved. But she was--by a man, also in his seventies, who lived in a nursing home but occasionally spent weekends with her in her apartment. In trying to tell me what this relationship meant to her, my great-aunt told of a conversation. One evening she had had dinner out, with friends. When she returned home, her male friend called and she told him about the dinner. He listened with interest and asked her, "What did you wear?" When she told me this, she began to cry: "Do you know how many years it's been since anyone asked me what I wore?"
When my great-aunt said this, she was saying that it had been years since anyone cared deeply--intimately--about her.