THE REASON THINGS GO WRONG

Monday, March 06, 2006

MURPHY'S LAW: "If anything can go wrong, it will."

PERRUSSEL'S LAW: "There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrong."

GLASER'S LAW: "If it says "One size fits all," it doesn't fit at all."

FAHNESTOCK'S RULE FOR FAILURE: "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

RUCKERT'S LAW: "There is nothing so small that it can't be blown out of proportion."

OWEN'S LAW OF ORGANIZATIONAL DEVIANCE: "Every organization has an alotted number of positions to be filled by misfits."

COROLLARY: "Once a misfit leaves, another will be recruited."

THE EMPEROR’S CLUB

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Tonight all over America people will be gathering around television sets watching The Academy Awards presentation. Earlier in a blog I predicted that Joaquin Phoenix would win the academy award for his portrayal of Johnny Cash in Walk the Line. Now, I do not believe he will win. Not because he was not good---he was. His portrayal was excellent. In my opinion he was Johnny Cash. I will not go into all the reasons I think someone else will win. That’s another story for another day.

I do not recommend many movies. So when I do you can be assured that I feel very strongly about the movie’s merits. Today, the movie I want to recommend has nothing to do with this year’s Academy Awards---or any year’s for that matter. The movie I want to recommend did not receive much attention a few years ago when I first saw it. It hasn’t received much praise from anybody. Why then, am I talking about it now? I first saw it at the theater and yesterday I saw it again on television.

The Emperor’s Club is the kind of movie I would produce if I could make movies. I was moved emotionally the first time I saw it and I was moved again yesterday. Kevin Kline is the star of the movie. He plays a teacher. A teacher!

I love teachers. I always have. I suppose I always will. It has been my good fortune to cross the path of some of the greatest teachers. I will always be grateful for everything they taught me. God has gifted some to teach. I am thankful for those who recognized their gifts and used them to bless others.

THANK YOU GOD FOR GOOD TEACHERS!

JESUS

Saturday, March 04, 2006

In January our good friends, Paul and Bobbie Covey were guests in our home. They brought us a splendid gift---JESUS, a novel by Walter Wangerin Jr.

From the dust jacket: “With power and conviction, the award-winning author of The Book of God, Paul: A Novel, and The Book of the Dun Cow turns his pen to history’s most compelling figure: Jesus of Nazareth. In vibrant language, Walter Wangerin Jr. sweeps away centuries of tradition and reveals a man of flesh-and-heart immediacy. Passionate, intelligent, and irresistibly real, this is a Jesus pulsing with life who will captivate you as thoroughly as he did the men and women who journeyed with him across Galilee’s rugged countryside.”

This is a novel that will be read and marveled at for decades to come.

AMERICA AND THE UNITED NATIONS

Friday, March 03, 2006

The United Nations is a shameful organization whose corruption is almost impossible to exaggerate. Most Americans know about the Oil-for-food scandal pulled off by the UN but most scandals go unreported. Kofi Annan’s son had a $30,000-a-year job but somehow found a spare quarter-million dollars to invest in a Swiss football club. Kofi’s brother was involved in a scandal along with the son of a childhood friend of Kofi’s son, Kojo. The list is long of friends, relatives and associates involved in scandals and yet Kofi Annan continues on as Secretary General.

What should replace the UN? NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

It’s a good axiom that if you take a quart of ice cream and a quart of dog mess and mix’em together, the result will taste more like dog mess than ice cream. That’s the problem with the UN. If you make the free nations and the thug states members of the same club, the danger isn’t that they’ll meet each other half-way but that the free world winds up going three-quarters or seven-eighths of the way.

WHAT SHOULD REPLACE THE UN? NOTHING!

PLAY BALL!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Today spring training games start in the valley. There will be games in Mesa, Tempe, Maryvale, Peoria, and Surprise. When you include Tucson there are nine spring training stadiums in the state. There are not games today at all the stadiums but there will be as we move on into spring.

I have loved baseball since I was a boy. Charlotte and I used to lay in bed in El Monte, California and listen to the Dodgers on the radio. We were just catching the last innings and we always said when Duke Snider came up to bat, “He just may knock a home run.” Guess what----many times he did! How exciting. It became a game for us---“He just may knock a home run.”

Barry Bonds didn’t play last year but the year before we saw one of his spring training games at Scottsdale Stadium. We took a group from the church with us and I told them that he probably would knock a least one home run. “Oh, how do you know Clif, he doesn’t always hit a home run.” Well guess what. He did!

I can’t tell you which park has the best hot dogs. I know this comes as a surprise to those of you who know me and my eating habits. Hot dogs and baseball go together like Mom and apple pie but I have never made it around to all the stadiums and therefore have never sampled the different dogs. I can tell you that if you are at Peoria Sports Complex for a game and you don’t fill up on hot dogs and you are hungry you should head over to McDuffys Grill just across the street. They have a big menu with something special every day. Friday is all you can eat fish and chips. It’s great. You should try it.

The truth about hot dogs is that I love to eat them at home. You can almost always get a hot dog at my house. I would tell you the different ways I fix them but I don’t want to write that much today. Maybe some other time.

SPRING TRAINING GAMES BEGIN TODAY. PLAY BALL!

JUST A LITTLE SILLY

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Yep, today is another one of those days. I'm feeling just a little silly.



A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!"

The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."