EMPATHY

Friday, January 09, 2009

Most of us do not listen with the intent to understand. We listen with the intent to reply.

We are not as interested in what is being said, as we are to what we are going to say.

Empathy involves trying to understand the other person's heart, mind and spirit.

It involves taking the time to consider their motives and feelings.

We need to listen with our eyes and hearts, as well as our ears.

What an impact it would have on our relationships if we would only take time to listen--I mean really listen

BOOK REVIEW

Thursday, January 08, 2009

It wasn’t a typical Sunday afternoon in Phoenix with an overcast sky and a cool mist falling. When I sat down to read Same Kind of Different As Me, I thought “I have already read sixty-three pages. I’ll read about that many more and then take a nap. It was around 1:00 p.m. when I started to read. When I read these words of Denver Moore: “The truth about it is, whether we is rich or poor or something in between, this earth ain’t no final restin’ place” I glanced up at the clock. It was 3:00 p.m. I had been reading all afternoon and had come to the end of this splendid book.

Same Kind of Different as Me is a true story written by Ron Hall and Denver Moore with Lynn Vincent. Their story is so heart touching and inspiring that you can’t put it down. It is a story of faith and true friendship. It is a story of a woman who loved God, trusted Him and wanted to serve others. It is a story of a man who struggled to be what God wanted him to be and what he wanted to be himself and then matured into that man. It is the story of a black, uneducated man growing up in the South when black people were treated like animals. He lived among the homeless population with no hope for the future until he met a white Christian woman who befriended him, gave him hope, something to live for, and changed his life. He said, “Until Miss Debbie, I’d never spoke to no white woman before. Just answered a few questions maybe—it wadn’t really speakin’.”

I believe reading this story, may change your life. Living this story changed Debbie Hall, her husband Ron, and their black, homeless friend, Denver Moore.

Denver said, “Money can’t buy no blessins.” This is probably true. But you will not be wasting your money when you buy this book.

LET US REJOICE

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

This is the day the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalm 118:24)

The sun is out and about today warming up the red roof tops and white headed "Snow birds" in Arizona.

Looking out my upstairs window I see bright colored oranges, tangerines and grapefruit.

I was able to get out of bed this morning. It's now ten thirty and I'm still moving along--slowly, but still moving.

Wow. This is a great day and I'm rejoicing.

I would be rejoicing regardless. Rejoicing just to have another day.

Thank you Lord!

NIGHT AT THE MOVIES

Monday, January 05, 2009

You've Got Mail is one of my favorite movies. A chick flick? Probably.

I love Dirty Harry movies. A male macho thing? Maybe.

I rarely, if ever, recommend a movie. Why? Well mainly because of the "It's all in the eye of the beholder thing." You know--we don't all like the same thing. I'm a coward. I don't like to be criticized.

And then, there's that preacher thing. Some members of the church hear every nasty word and see every naked butt and then translate that into my approval of naughty things.

Once upon a time our church staff was viewing Chariots of Fire, which I think is one of the best movies of all time, and our bus minister got up and walked out because they were drinking beer and said, "damn."

I wish people didn't drink anything intoxicating, say bad words, or show their behinds. However, me wishing this doesn't keep it from happening--in movies or in life. And some people see the bad side of everything. They are so heavenly minded they are no earthly good.

We need to be balanced. In my opinion, most of what Hollywood turns out is trash. However, occasionally a movie comes along that teaches some good lessons. I'm not going to let a few nasty words and the glimpse of a naked body keep me out of the theater.

I thought The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was a good movie. I'm not recommending it-- although my preaching colleague and theologian Ben Witherington does.

Try getting on his case and see how you do.

IT MIGHT BE YOUR LAST

Saturday, January 03, 2009

“Live This Day as if It Were Your Last. It Might Be!” is the title of the last article in Richard Carlson’s book, Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff.

Richard Carlson, psychotherapist and world famous writer died December 13, 2006 of cardiac arrest on a flight from San Francisco to New York City. He was going there to promote his latest book. He was forty-five years old.

In that last article, Carlson wrote: “When are you going to die? In fifty years, twenty, ten, five, today? Last time I checked, no one had told me. I often wonder, when listening to the news, did the person who died in the auto accident on his way home from work remember to tell his family how much he loved them? Did he live well? Did he love well? Perhaps the only thing that is certain is that he still had things in his “in basket” that weren’t yet done.”

He went on to say: “The truth is, none of us has any idea how long we have to live. Sadly, however, we act as if we’re going to live forever. We postpone the things that, deep down, we know we want to do—telling the people we love how much we care, spending time alone, visiting a good friend …and on and on. We come up with elaborate and sophisticated rationales to justify our actions, and end up spending most of our time and energy doing things that aren’t all that important.”

These words come not from the Bible but from a guy who lived his life just like the rest of us but perhaps thought more seriously about living and dieing and then did die at an early age. Maybe we would do well to give serious thought to the things he had to say.

“Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” James 4:13-14

CHOOSE BETWEEN BEING KIND AND BEING RIGHT

Friday, January 02, 2009

If 2009 is like every other year has been, we will be given many opportunities to choose between being kind and being right.

We will have many chances to “correct” people.

Please don’t confuse being kind with being a wimp.

And I would never suggest that it’s not okay for you to be right.

But if you insist on being right, it often takes away your inner peace.

The best place and time to start being kind is with the next person you speak to.