WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

3. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance With the Prophecy."

4. Don't use any punctuation

5. Order a "Diet Water" whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

6. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."

7. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

8. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"

9. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives -- they're loose!"

10. Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."