RETURN THE STOLEN GOODS, YOU WILL FEEL BETTER

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Several years ago I committed a crime and a sin. I stole a white elephant gift I had taken to a Christmas party to be given as a gift. The person who became the possessor of the gift was a proud possessor and wanted it very much. The white elephant was a horrible picture of me. Some say it looks just like me but in my mind it is grotesque beyond belief. The person getting the white elephant picture of me had an evil scheme on her mind. She intended to take it to the church assembly the next day and have it projected on the big screen for everybody to see. Of course they would have laughed, made jokes about me and humiliated me until I would have ended up in tears.

S0, I THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR ABOUT A MINUTE AND THEN DID THE ONLY INTELLIGENT THING LEFT FOR ME TO DO—I STOLE IT BACK!

I put my white elephant gift on top of hers (my ugly picture) and picked them all up and said, “I better put these things in the car before I forget them.” When I returned from hiding the stolen goods in my car, I heard this dear sister in Christ and our host for the evening telling her husband that somebody had taken her gift. They both looked puzzled and a little annoyed but being good host they didn’t say anything.

Well, that was many years ago. Last night we had the annual white elephant Christmas party. This dear lady was there but she no longer participates in the white elephant exchange. She has never said why. She just doesn’t. Last night after all the gifts were taken from under the tree—one remained. It was that ugly picture that I had decided to return to its rightful owner. She said she was glad to get it back but she wasn’t smiling. She also said that she was going directly to the church office to have it prepared for a showing on the big screen.

Wouldn’t you think that after all these years that her heart would have mellowed a little and that she would let me off the hook and also not put the church through such a horrible thing? Well, hopefully she will get back into the game and start exchanging white elephant gifts again. Maybe she will steal my next one. I hope somebody does.