DELAYING GRATIFICATION

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Many of us, when we have a hard job to do, work on the more gratifying half of the work first and then get around to the objectionable part last. M. Scott Peck,M.D. author of The Road Less Traveled said it seemed to him that one hour of pain followed by six of pleasure was preferable to one of pleasure followed by six of pain.

He went on to say, "Delaying gratification is a process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such way as to enhance the pleasure by meeting and experiencing the pain first and getting it over with. It is the only decent way to live."

"While many have a well-developed capacity to delay gratification some fifteen-or sixteen-year-olds seem to have hardly developed this capacity at all; indeed, some seem even to lack the capacity entirely....Despite average or better intelligence, their grades are poor simply because they do not work."

"Why is this?...The answer is not absolutely, scientifically known....But most of the signs rather clearly point to the quality of parenting as the determinant."

"It is not that the homes of these unself-disciplined children are lacking in parental discipline of a sort. ...But this discipline is meaningless. Because it is undisciplined discipline."

"One reason that it is meaningless is the the parents themselves are unself-disciplined, and therefore serve as undisciplined role models for their children."